Give Me Rest

About 3 months out and this is what I've been learning...
God is big
My plans aren't His
He knows what will happen
He's obviously teaching me something
I can't do this myself

These things He's teaching me aren't easy; not knowing what will happen in 3 months scares me so much and the fact that God knows...honestly? It makes me a little mad sometimes. After so many times of having to rely fulling on God, you'd think that I'd learn that He knows what's He's doing right? NOPE. I'm dumb and un-trusting of the one who planned out my life before I was even born.

Lately the book of Psalm has been speaking to my heart and uplifting me.

Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.
-Psalm 9:10
But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation 
- Psalm 13: 5

Encouraging.

This weekend I listened to a speaker at Hidden Acres and she was telling a story about how when she asks students about there relationship with God they respond with 'I could do better.'

My first reaction was 'what's wrong with that?'

They could do better...
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

It's not about us doing better, it's about us resting in His love, His grace, mercy and forgiveness. That hit me because I have the same reaction. I always want to be a better Christian by doing good things and trying to be a better person- but it starts with me realizing that I need to fall back on Christ.

Over and out.

Random Thoughts

This week has been quite the week. It's been full of change, stressful situations, times of relaxation, hello's , goodbye's , happy and sad moments, rejoicing over accomplishments and cake.

So graduation week, yes?

My grandparents from Florida came on Tuesday and it's been great to catch up with them. They keep suggesting I go to Florida soon so that looks like a possibility!
Friday night we had a Mother Daughter Tea....Sounds boring right?  Yup, it was.
Smoking Sawee was the high-light of my Friday night/ Saturday morning. There's just something about sitting with  my dad watching smoke at 2:30 in the morning that's really enjoyable.

Maddie and I had a great party and a big thanks to all who came! I'm blessed to have a friend like Maddie!

Commencement ceremony today was nice. As I watched my friends walk across that stage, I couldn't be more proud. They have accomplished many things in high school but it's their relationships with the Lord is what I'm most proud of. Walking and growing closer to our God with them has been such an incredible journey.
It really hit me today that I won't be spending next year with them. As much as that sucks and hurts, I rest in the fact that God will provide replacement relationships in our lives.
Also, sitting next to a nice fellow(Ian) was pretty fun. I'm blessed to be dating such a good guy.

Fundraising has been not so great lately. It's been very slow and discouraging the last couple of weeks. Talking to churches hasn't been successful. Here's where the faith, trust and hope comes into play. If this is something God wants me to continue, then so be it. If it's not, so be it.  Amen.

Threads of Hope

Threads of Hope is such a cool ministry!
Families in the Philippines make a living off of making bracelets that missionaries buy and then
sell in the United States. These people have very little but they are amazing at making these things!
I contacted them and asked for 1500 bracelets and they said all I need to do is give them half of the profit and
send the bracelets that I don't sell back. The other half of the money made will go towards my mission trip to
Austria.
I'll be selling them at Hidden Acres this summer so hopefully that goes well!
If you'd like one or would like to help sell them give me a call!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5uUC6tzCuY

Being Satisfied

A few weeks ago I went to a Tenth Avenue North concert with a couple of friends in Clear Lake.
(totally sweet concert by the way)
As an intro to one of their songs they brought of a verse that's been stirring in my mind for the last couple of weeks - Psalm 90:14
It goes like this: ' Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love; that we may sing for joy and be glad all of our days.' 
Now think about that.
What does it mean to be satisfied by Gods love? 
Maybe being consumed with the fact that some body is crazy in love with you and that He's the God of everything? Or not looking for love in other people, places or things? Or knowing that you've been forgiven from that sin you thought no one could forgive you for?


I've been trying to pray this every morning but sometimes it's just hard. 
It's hard to put down the things that I want to satisfy me and let God be the one to do it.
I mean come on, my friends, family, job, social life, money, and things can do the same thing God does right? Some days it feels like they can but eventually the are going to leave me disappointed and alone. 


Satisfy means to...
fulfill the desires, expectations, needs or demands of a person
 give full contentment
 put an end to -
 give assurance to


When I pray ' God will you be the only thing that I look to to fill me up today' it allows for Him to be able to do His work through me. If I abandon all my selfish desires first thing every morning, I can only imagine how God will begin to use me. 
If everyone prayed and meant this every morning what would our school, church, community and country look like?

Fundraising update and stuff

The week after spring break is always a little crazy. It seems that teachers realize they actually need to start putting in grades so they over-load you on homework and make you take lots of quizzes, which is a rude awakening coming back from a week of no school.  Not cool. Not fun.

Almost everyday I receive a donation card in the mail saying that someone has given me 50, 100 or 500 dollars. This has been one of the most encouraging and humbling experiences- watching people give and commit to praying for me.
Marty Smith has been putting together a garage sale to help with the fundraising. This will take place at my house on April 7 from 7- 12. People have been dropping off donations for the past week and as my house fills up with clothes, toys, books, tv's, ect, I cannot help but feel totally blessed.

Along with sending letters, I will be going to many different churches to talk about what the Lord will be doing through me in Austria. (Slightly nervous to this but I'm sure it'll be fine)

I'm praying that God will provide $48,000 and patience as I watch Him do is work.


Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 

Surrender

I surrender all to You because..

 -You're good

-You're faithful

- You love me

- You died for me

- You know what's best

- You are God

What does it mean to surrender? 

To yield to another, give up, abandon

As I sit here listening to 'Surrender' the verse that's so convicting is ' I'm giving you my dreams i'm laying down

my rights, i'm giving up my pride for the promise of new life'

Why does my life seems so unbearable sometimes? 

Why is it seem to be the same and boring?

Because I fail to do give God everything. 

I want to fulfill my dreams, the things I've been putting my hope in, I want my life to be the way that I plan it out.

See that- MY LIFE. 

Weird because I thought I gave my life to Him when I became a christian. 

Luke 9:23

'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'

In the New Testament this phrase is used over and over again. 

It's very important to realize that this isn't a one time thing; it's daily.

That means everyday I wake up and give God my day- surrender my hopes, my dreams, etc.

And as I do that, He begins to change my life into His story through me.

It all starts with surrendering to  Him.

Four days ago I received an e-mail saying that I was accepted to go on a mission’s trip to Austria. Last summer I counseled at Hidden Acres and at the last staff meeting a guy from an English day camp in Austria came and spoke to us about the need for young leaders over their; so being the curious person I am, I decided to look into it.  Somehow that led me to apply for a year long mission’s trip.

Over the last 6 months I’ve been going through a crazy application process, filling out an ungodly amount of forms, answering lots of deep questions, and my favorite, phone interviews.

Looking back on that, it’s been totally worth it.

 It would have been worth it even if they didn’t accept me.

Why? Well I learned answers to deep theological question, learned to lean on God for wisdom and guidance, and I obeyed Him. It was worth it because God told me to.

As I smiled, yelled and cried in excitement, I felt the presence of the Holy One say, “I know what I’m doing, trust me.” 

I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced that feeling but it’s one that will never get old.

In September I’ll be leaving for Europe for 11months. Let the fundraising begin!